Hmph! Cinnamon?

But now I have a problem, sometimes I can be unwilling. I really truly want to be totally given over to God so that I can be used by Him. Yet sometimes my heart is unwilling, I sometimes question why I should give up some of the things in my life. I want to one day marry a girl that I want to marry; I don't want to give that over to God, I’m kind of scared He’ll stick me with a weirdo I’m not attracted to. I want to be friends with my friends even if they aren't the best people for me to be hanging around with 100 % of the time. I want to choose what kind of TV shows to watch, I like Friends and Sinefield just like the rest of North America and I don't want God telling me not to watch those shows. I’m not saying that these things are wrong, but me not wanting to give them over to God that is wrong. If I don’t do something about this unwillingness then it looks like I really have a problem. I am going to be caught in a life that is half hearted for Christ.

Even easier than it is for me to have a problem, is Gods ability to have the solution. God created me and He knows my weaknesses, just as He knows yours. There is a way to get beyond that inevitable unwillingness that plagues so many of us throughout our lives. The answer is so simple that it seems kind of childish, and it is childish, but after all we are God’s children.

What did you do when you were a child and you needed something? “Mommy! I’m hungry” and as you go older “Dad, I need money”. We all did it, some more than others (especially the money part). We ask our parents for things over the course of our whole lives as they did to their parents. It is a continuous cycle of giving that has taken place since Cain and Abel; parents desire to provide for their children. Why should our heavenly Father be any different? He’s not.

Jesus said Himself that God can and will give to those who ask. All I have to do is ask God, “God I am willing to let you make me be willing to give up these things and commit these areas of my life to you”. Wow that’s cool “God I am willing to be willing.” If I can learn to let God work in my life He can take care of it for me. Well ok not 'for' me, I am a being that has been given the wonderful gift of freewill - which gives me the ability to be willing.

Unfortunately just making the decision to be willing is not enough, God is going to work in me to make me more willing but I will also have to work as well. I will have to give up those areas of my life; I know that God is going to let me start small and that He's going to give me strength to do it. I know that He won't put me in a situation that is out of my ability to do what I know I should do. I also know that once I master giving up the small things that God will move me onto the bigger things, He'll never give me more than I can handle, and eventually I will be a man completely and Absolutely surrendered to Christ.

I can fee l this longing on the inside. Something pulling at my spirit that I need Christ and I need to be closer to Him. I have Christ living in my heart through the Holy Spirit but that doesn't mean that I am surrendered to Him. I still have these things in my life, things that I want, and I am going to have to let go. If I don't let go then I will never able to reach my full usefulness to God, and that is my hearts desire. Deep within my soul I feel a calling to be a servant of the most High God. To be used by Him to expand His kingdom. To have my cinnamon brown added to your wild cherry red. I know that if I want to be used by God - Which I do – then I will have to give up those areas of my life. I know that God is going to help me, He promises to do so in His word.